Easy Like Sunday Morning V. 33
a question, an activity, an intention
Each week, I send an email to help you connect, even during your busiest seasons. Read it to each other in bed or take it in the car with you. It’s made to be easy, like Sunday morning.
1 question to check in with each other
1 activity to get closer
1 intention for the coming week
The State of Things:
First things first… let’s check in about how things are going overall in your relationship.
Q. When you share something you're struggling with, what can I do or say to help you feel heard and supported?
Asking, "When you share something you're struggling with, what can I do or say to help you feel heard and supported?" is crucial because it directly addresses how you can be most effective in offering empathy and validation. This question goes beyond assuming your partner's needs and invites them to articulate what genuinely helps them feel understood. It’s about prioritizing their emotional experience over your own comfort. Loving someone in the way they need, rather than just how it feels natural to you, fosters deeper connection and trust. It shows that you value their unique needs and are committed to supporting them in a way that truly resonates with their feelings.
Getting Closer: [Experiential Intimacy]
A playful competition.
In celebration of the Olympics, choosing a low-impact sport that combines fun with friendly competition can be a fantastic way to bond. Consider activities like bowling, miniature golf, ping pong, or pool (billiards), which offer the perfect blend of light-hearted competition and enjoyment without requiring intense physical exertion. To add an extra layer of excitement, make it a weekly tradition with a fun prize for the winner—perhaps a 30-minute body massage, a dinner of their choice, or a week off from doing the dishes. This approach not only ensures you both have a great time but also turns an ordinary activity into a memorable experience with a bit of playful rivalry.
Setting an Intention:
“This week, I will make an effort to show affection in ways that are meaningful to you.”
Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner’s Feelings
In relationships, truly understanding one another hinges on the power of empathy, a concept emphasized by Dr. John Gottman’s ATTUNE model and explored by Brené Brown. Empathy involves deeply connecting with your partner’s emotions, rather than just sympathizing or attempting to "fix" their feelings. This skill is crucial during conflicts when it’s easy to let defensiveness take over. By actively listening without judgment, recognizing emotions beyond mere facts, and validating your partner's experiences, you foster a more supportive and understanding relationship. As Brené Brown highlights, empathy is about feeling with your partner and climbing into their emotional "hole" rather than offering superficial solutions. For a deeper dive into how empathy can transform your relationship dynamics, read the full article here.
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