Easy Like Sunday Morning V.4
a question, an activity, an intention
Each week, I send an email to help you connect, even during your busiest seasons. Read it to each other in bed or take it in the car with you. It’s made to be easy, like Sunday morning.
1 question to check in with each other
1 activity to get closer
1 intention for the coming week
If you’re a paid subscriber, there is a note and question for you at the end :)
Just a note: My letter on the nuances of defensiveness will come out later this week. Stay tuned.
The State of Things:
First things first… let’s check in about how things are going overall in your relationship.
The relationship book I Didn’t Sign Up For This suggests you take time to reflect on your relationship so that you can consciously choose it. The prompts below are adapted from the book to help you check in with each other this week.
This week I was grateful for…
In our relationship, I want to be someone who…
One thing I appreciated about you this week was…
Some hard work I am going to do for our relationship this week is…
Use the IG post below as a guide for talking about what you appreciated.
Getting Closer:
[Emotional Intimacy]
Some people feel good talking about feelings and some people feel uncomfortable, bored, or frustrated talking about feelings. When you’re in a relationship where one of you feels good about it and the other feels badly about it this is called a meta emotion mismatch. Don’t worry - it’s not a bad thing…in fact it’s really common. Research has shown, though, that if you have one partner who values emotional conversations then it’s important to figure out how to open up…at least some of the time.
Use the questions that follow to ask about each emotion listed below. This exercise helps you to better understand each other’s experience with each emotion.
| Sadness | Excitement | Anger | Fear |
When people were feeling [insert feeling here] in your home growing up, how did your caregiver (s) respond?
When your caregiver(s) felt [insert feeling here] how did you know it? What did they look like? How did they act?
When you felt [insert feeling here] as a child, how did other people know it?
When you feel [insert feeling here] do you think I notice?
Want to keep the conversation about feelings going?
Roll through the feelings wheel to talk about any of the emotions you’re feeling curious about with your partner. The inner pieces correspond to the 6 primary emotions. As it moves outward, you begin to explore secondary feelings that are related to those primary feelings.
Setting an Intention:
“This week I am going to offer my partner the type of quality time they like to receive”
Extra, Extra Read All About It:
I Didn’t Sign Up For This by Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is on my nightstand this week + is what I’m recommending to colleagues and clients. Dr Tracy shares real stories to help couples understand their patterns and begin to see a way forward. If you liked the conversation about emotions or the tips for checking in with each other this week, you will find plenty of other activities just like them in her book.
Know a cute couple that would like this type of thing?
Forward them this email or the article link + suggest they subscribe.
Thank you!!
Over the last several weeks, I have been getting notifications in my email “New Paid Subscriber for The Balancing Act”. I often open it once or twice doing a double take to see if what I’ve read is true.
Once I’ve come to believe it, I look at the name of each of you. Sometimes, they are names I recognize but more often they are names I don’t. I turn to my husband and say something like “Andrew, someone else just signed up as a paid subscriber! I am so touched!”
I do not keep the e-mails behind a paywall because, right now, I want them to be a way I share (in longer form) what I am thinking about relationships + some helpful tips. So it means so much that you have seen something in my work and that you’ve made a gesture to show me that you value it.
Each and every one of you is seen by me and each and everyone of you has made me feel seen. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Now, here is the question… if I was going to make some content for paid subscribers specifically, what would you like to see? Leave me a comment to let me know!
And, if you’re not a paid subscriber, please know I greatly appreciate you being here and am honored you would take time to read my thoughts. Thank YOU so much!
xoxo
Liz
I find I read and reread your posts because they are so good!! I read your book a year ago and it’s amazing to learn practical tips for making it work after 17 years ... thank you!